


An Unusual Constellation

by NewWorldSymphony



Category: SAYER (Podcast)
Genre: Blood, Canon-Typical Violence, Dental Trauma, Disordered Eating, Disturbing Themes, Gen, Horror, Humor, Medical Procedures, Mental Health Issues, Needles, Poor Handling of Mental Illness, Surgery, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, and one spoiler cameo, much like canon it's light at some parts but mostly just full of that existential dread
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-23 06:17:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16613519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NewWorldSymphony/pseuds/NewWorldSymphony
Summary: A resident has a standard mandatory oral hygiene checkup with not-so-standard results.





	An Unusual Constellation

**Author's Note:**

> The other day I wondered… would Typhon have dentists? It all kind of spiraled out of control into being about a million other things from there. 
> 
> Set nebulously sometime before S4

 

The morning began like any other. Rising to her alarm, patting her hair down to something presentable, and getting dressed.

All the while listening absentmindedly to the morning alerts until SAYER broadcast to her specifically.

_“Greetings Resident Kang, identification number 44273. I am SAYER. And I am pleased to let you know that the pain you are currently experiencing will soon be nothing more than an unpleasant memory.”_

Kang had been adjusting the seam of her uniform, but immediately froze in place at the end of its sentence.

_“I know this statement might elicit several intense feelings from you. But despite the fact you were due for your next appointment several months down the line… I do not anticipate one of them is confusion, Resident, despite the acceleration in schedule._

_Generally speaking, those that are caught in their lies do not feel any sort of confusion when their duplicity is brought to light. Only the fear, anxiety, and stress that comes with being exposed as a **liar**.”_

It was right. She had begun shaking as soon as it had said the word ‘pain,’ but it had advanced to full on tremors when it directly called out her dishonesty. She clamped one hand over her mouth and leaned against the wall of her room for support.

_“I suggest you attempt to mask that inner turmoil with the same vigor that you have masked your condition for the past few weeks._

_Today, you will not be reporting to your usual place of work… that being, wherever corpses might happen to turn up. Today, in fact, you will not be reporting for work at all. Today you have been scheduled for a mandatory oral hygiene checkup._

_Please exit your room and make a right.”_

Her legs still quaking, Kang stumbled through her door and attempted to comply, mind racing.

 

_“Once you reach the end of the hall, you are going to turn right again.”_

As SAYER was want to do, it continued to talk at length as it directed her through the halls, voice edged with displeasure. Its voice carried on, at full volume and drowning out the noises of people and machines around her. She felt a little light-headed, and not just from the lack of food.

_“Seeing as you are more experienced navigating Halcyon compared to a typical resident, you might think it strange I am guiding you to the physicians’ offices. Your position in the Department of Carbon-Based Relocation gives you more experience in this area compared to almost any other job here on Typhon. Inconveniently, people die everywhere, all the time, and you really need to constantly be on the move to keep up with it all._

_You will want to take a left here.”_

Barely registering its instructions, Kang briefly turned towards the right before correcting her course and sharply turning left, causing her to almost slam into another resident. SAYER gave a moment of pause, but thankfully did not comment on it.

_“Let’s just say I want to make my instructions **perfectly clear** … considering your penchant for disobeying basic public health measures such as ‘admitting when you are ill and actually doing something to fix it.’_

_I find it difficult to understand your behavior. At least that is, I find it difficult in human terms._

_If you were not a human, this psychology might even make a certain degree of sense._

_Prey animals, for example, will often hide any pain they are in. While injury or disease in general might put them at a risk against potential predators, exposing this pain puts them at an even greater risk. It makes them marked as susceptible. An easy kill. A target._

_On Typhon, however, that sort of thinking is not only intensely discouraged… it is illogical. This is not the plains of a sub-Africa, resident, and you are not a gazelle. There is no cheetah sizing up the herd, waiting for the slightest display of weakness. The only thing waiting to sweep you up is our incredibly competent medical teams, which I might remind you will do nothing but help you.”_

Easy for it to say. Frankly, it was the cheetah. And how she was being treated now… well, it was precisely why she had kept it hidden for so long. For a long time now she had been struggling… failing, on many different levels.

But even if she knew she needed help, knew she should tell someone… she also knew the help they would give would come judgement, derision, scorn. Termination even, if they were displeased enough.

Or something far, far worse: reassignment. There was nothing more terrifying… at least for Tier 1 employees. At least starving to death was preferable to being transferred to Research Facility Zeta. She’d been on Typhon long enough to at least know _that_.

Kang bit her lip, and furrowed her brow, but remained silent.

_“Please enter the elevator and make your way to Level 3, where the physician’s offices are located.”_

 

Once Kang reached the offices she walked through the automatic Sturdy-Doors and into the crowded general lobby. Even with the introduction of the medical bots, there were still sometimes days like this. Thankfully she only had to walk through a few more rooms to reach the relatively calmer dentistry department, with only three other residents in the waiting room.

After checking herself in with her ID number at the display panel and sitting down, the belligerent tirade from SAYER started up again. She shrunk back slightly in her seat at the sound of its voice, echoing through her head.

_“One of the questions that should be on your mind, instead of:_

_‘How did they manage to catch me?’ and ‘What clues did I leave behind?’_

_would be, ‘Why exactly is a day off necessary, when I have been scheduled for a routine checkup?’_

_On Earth, employers might scoff at the idea of time off from work for dental pain and discomfort. Truly one of the benefits of life on Typhon is that all aspects of your health are considered with the upmost concern. For example, Aerolith employees are allotted up to an hour off of work to attend to dental appointments._

_However, as I have just noted, the amount of time you have been allotted for this appointment far exceeds the average. The simple reason for this is that I have reason to believe there is something deeply, seriously wrong going on in your mouth… as well as the rest of you._

_Of course your vitals are within a generally healthy range, so it managed to slip my attention for quite some time. I didn’t have concrete evidence. However, I have been able to meet at least enough of a burden of proof that those in control of such matters made the call. It is somewhat pre-emptive, but I, and more importantly **they** , have a feeling my hunch is right. _

_I believe your appointment will reveal just how serious your condition is, and in turn, necessitate far longer time off than a simple checkup._

_But of course… we have to make it official first. Actual eyes look in actual mouths, as it were._

_And see **just what exactly** is going on in there.”_

Kang fidgeted in her seat more and clenched her teeth tighter and tighter as SAYER went on, before being unable to stand it anymore and speaking up.

“It’s… it’s not even that serious! Just… bumps in my mouth,” she whispered, trying to defend herself. One of the other residents nearest to her glanced as she spoke, before turning away. People rarely ever addressed SAYER back… her included. But it did happen.

_“And by what authority can you make that claim? Do you even know what your condition is?”_

Silence. Kang had no clue. She had an idea what might have caused it, but not _what_ it was.

_“I thought not. Well. I’m sure it must have been distressing for you, waking up with one day with swellings in your mouth. Perhaps you reassured yourself they were simply canker sores, an inflammation, a chance irregularity they would sort itself out in time. But they did not. Gradually, slowly they spread along almost the entirety of the insides of your gums._

_Sores began forming on the ones that unfortunately came into contact with other parts of your mouth and one another. And repeated trauma gave way to **something** erupting from your gums. Something white, hard… solid._

_Something very much looking like teeth._

_In places teeth never should be. The roof of your mouth, sprouting side-by-side to your existing molars and incisors…_

_By the look on your face, it looks like my conjecture was on target. I don’t know your symptoms, nor your exact condition. But from what I know…. I’m guessing it went something like that._

_It would not surprise you to learn I have no authority in this topic, lacking a dental degree, so I will have to leave you in suspense as to your exact condition. I’m sure you will be relieved I am not prematurely diagnosing you with qualifications I do not have._

_I can assure you, however, **they are not teeth**. Supernumerary teeth do not develop in a few months._

_You do not look comforted by this fact, Resident Kang. In fact, your pulse just skyrocketed._

_Perhaps you are asking yourself, if they are not teeth, what are they? As I mentioned before, however, it is actually in your best interest that I not state my guesses._

_I would also be remiss to not remind you that, had you contacted the appropriate medical authorities in an appropriate time frame, it is likely that **none of this would have happened.**_

_Or at least not to this extent. And you could have been walking through the halls on your merry way, not concerning yourself what those little boney bumps and protrusions are.”_

SAYER left her in silence after, pondering just that. And tracing her tongue along the edges of them.

She continued doing so until she was ferried into an examination room, obsessively, repetitively. And then even then she didn’t stop, not until the dentist arrived.

 

“Hi. Min Kang?” the dentist asked as they entered. They were tall and had bright red shock of hair that they wore slicked back into a neat ponytail.

“Yes,” Kang replied after a pause. She had been wondering where on Typhon they had managed to secure hair dye before remembering to reply… and that such a color was genetically possible, just incredibly rare. She had certainly never seen anyone with such a vivid shade in her life.

“Alright. Let’s get this over with. And to skip the formalities, I know this isn’t the run-of-the-mill checkup it is on paper. I’ve already heard quite enough from SAYER what the situation is, but I still have to get the symptoms directly from you to keep policy. I mean, really, ideally, I wouldn’t have been briefed so thoroughly beforehand, since you know. It is my job, being the dentist and all, but clearly playing doctor is something SAYER likes to do-“’

_“Am I not meant to identify potential health hazards to residents, in addition to all of my other duties? I believe in this situation I have done **precisely** what I am intended to do, Dr. MacHugh-”_

“Well, whatever. Let’s hear it, Min.”

Kang was a bit surprised to be able to hear the conversation between the two of them, but she supposed SAYER must have opened the channels itself to facilitate the conversation. Or simply because it wanted to prove a point.

“W-Well… I’ve had… something wrong with my teeth. Well, my gums. I have… bumps. At first they didn’t hurt, but there’s been more and more and now it’s becoming painful to eat…” she paused.

SAYER chimed up.

_“Ulcers. As I suspected, and like I **told** you. Her meal times rose exponentially over the past few weeks, which is when I began to suspect some health concern.”_

“See, this is what I mean, there’s no need to go all medical drama on me, trying to figure out a diagnosis,” MacHugh muttered as they tapped the overhead light and gloved up, gesturing for Kang to open her mouth. She obediently complied, squeezing her eyes shut and clutching the arm rests beside her tight.

“That’s sort of what I’M supposed to be here for. This isn’t a procedural, and you’ve been treating this like a proper investigation, Sherlo-“

They cut off mid-sentence after looking at her gums, eyes wide.

“Aw hell. I can’t help with this! This woman needs an oral surgeon!” they yelled after stepping back and clenching their fists, glaring into the air. Evidently, at SAYER.

_“It’s unprofessional to shout, doctor. But regardless of your usual appalling interpersonal conduct, I have still entered Resident Kang in the next available time slot.”_

MacHugh seemed to dial it back at that, but they continued to pace around before walking back over to Kang and prompting her to open her mouth again. Eyes narrowed, looking both shocked and repulsed but then… concerned.

“Really, love, this is just dreadful. Why didn’t you come in earlier for this?” they asked as they straightened up.

But Kang just clamped her mouth shut and averted her eyes. MacHugh frowned but continued, typing furiously on their datapad even while they spoke to her.

“I’ve seen them before, maybe... four? Five times? What we’re dealing with are called mandibular tori. They’re small bone growths. Generally, they’re benign, and not anything to worry about but… not when there’s this many of them. If they’re interfering that much with your eating especially, they’ll have to go. I wouldn’t normally advise surgery, but... Some of them are even exposed and coming out of the gums, which… isn’t typical. And those ulcers. Ouch. How have you been eating with those?”

“Slowly,” Kang muttered as she kept her eyes shut. Surgery. Fantastic.

“’Well, let me at least get you something to numb that,” MacHugh said with insistence, rifling through some drawers and pulling out a syringe. Like that was any comfort. Even as she was drugged up on Novocain she could still feel them as she ran her tongue along them. Tingling, numb now, but still ever-present.

 

MacHugh continued to fret over her mouth and asking if they could do anything else, but after taking several pictures of the growths their job was done and they were ready to leave.

But SAYER wasn’t done with them yet.

_“Need I remind you that it isn’t only your job to coddle and soothe the patient, but also to analyze the underlying pathology?”_

“Uh, sure, but what sort of test could I possibly run to do that? I’m used to offering diagnosis and treatment. Not analysis. Usually the question is, ‘is that a cavity?’ the answer is ‘yes’ or “no” and the solution, ‘make sure they apply proper brushing and flossing technique in the future.”

_“A blood test. In the case of tori, there are usually other underlying disorders that would show up through at least a basic one.”_

“Ohhkay. So get a nurse or a bot to do it?” MacHugh replied.

But SAYER wasn’t having any of it, insisting that not only had they been trained in basic anatomy in their schooling, but also by Aerolith in rudimentary clinical operations both for emergencies and menial medical procedures. Such as, it argued, this procedure.

_“This should be child’s play, frankly, and it’s somewhat embarrassing you’re attempting to pass off even this simple of a task onto one of your far busier and more important colleagues. Do you know how much more crucial the medbots and nurses are to Aerolith than **you**? A **dentist**? Without them I fully believe the human population of Typhon would be extinguished within **days**._

_But **you** are an entirely different matter._

_Entertaining the **purely hypothetical** situation that you disappeared suddenly, I imagine the outcome would be quite different. Namely, something more along the lines of a bunch of HR employees standing around their desks after several months going, ‘Oh, remember that dental position that opened up a few months ago? We should really get to hiring someone for that,” before turning back to their **real** work and forgetting for another few months._

_Really, I cannot impress upon you enough, Dr. MacHugh, just how supplementary and vestigial your position is-“_

Suffice it to say, Dr. MacHugh did NOT let that stand.

After a few times going back and forth between them (as Kang sat quietly in her chair, staring off and wishing to be anywhere but there) MacHugh eventually gave in following a threatened insubordination writeup… and the threat of much, much worse things, though only in implication.

But SAYER got what it wanted, eventually.

MacHugh wasn’t happy about it, but they wrapped Kang’s arm with a band and prompting her to clench her fist.

“Just a little pinch,” they reassured her before jabbing the needle in.

It really wasn’t that painful. But as she lost blood her light-headedness only got worse.

It passed after a minute, when the needles were gone and she had a moment to breathe. It helped to distract herself, so she watched MacHugh’s back as they dug through the cabinets and grumbled inaudibly about ‘does this room even HAVE one?’ among other things. But before long they found a sleek black instrument they deposited the sample into. Within a minute, it had chimed and they were already pulling the results up on their datapad.

They whistled as they flicked through it.

“Well, there’s definitely something you’ve got going on here. At a healthy ‘maximum,’ people’s calcium levels usually top off at 10.6. You’re at a whopping 12.4. Again, you really didn’t notice anything off? Other than the pain in your mouth, I mean.”

“I… I’ve also had some other problems. Feeling nauseous, weak, like I couldn’t get enough sleep… But I’ve… had that before. Maybe there were a few things out of the ordinary... I had some pain in my stomach off and on again, and my heart… sometimes felt like it was skipping a beat.”

SAYER couldn’t help but comment on that.

_“Why, it’s almost like this is a medical concern you **should** have **reported**._

_Still. These symptoms are troubling. There’s still the matter of an underlying cause to account for as well._

_Vitamin imbalances could lead to the development of tori. But such an idea is absurd, here on Typhon. All nutrition intake is tightly regulated. Given this careful monitoring of rations, how could a resident have an excess or lack of anything? Barring food shortages of course. But none have coincided with the development of your symptoms._

_Certainly there are other disorders that could cause it such as gastrointestinal disorders, overactive parathyroid, cancer, or sarcoidosis… but you are exhibiting none of the indicators that would be associated with any of them, at least looking at these preliminary test results._

_Fascinating. But also concerning. This is the very reason I have made myself so deeply involved in your case, Resident Kang. You are exhibiting a highly unusual constellation of symptoms.”_

“I’ll say,” MacHugh agreed with a snort. But then seemed a little embarrassed to realize they were agreeing with SAYER. They fidgeted, snapping off their gloves before finally making their way out of the room, only stopping to briefly say goodbye to Kang.

“Well, hope you get this sorted. Best of luck.”

Kang hoped so too. But she also dreaded the inevitable, what was to come.

She dreaded being left in that lifeless sterile room, alone except for herself and the ever-present hum in her head, the low, hateful murmurs of fear and dread for the future, the constant what-ifs and call to imagine, just think what would happen-

Oh, and the robotic voice in her head that so often seemed to almost embody those dark thoughts. It did half the work for her, really.

 

As Kang waited for her surgery, SAYER prepped her on what to expect.

_“The procedure is not so different from what you would expect from impacted wisdom teeth. Though of course, with that there is usually the option of anesthetic… well, let’s just say at the moment the supplies are a little tight, and you’ll be stuck with a few more generous shots of Novocain throughout your mouth._

_After those brief pinches of pain, your gums will be numb and the rest of the procedure will be painless. Simple pressure and pulling. I reassure you on this front because the next steps will be slightly more… unorthodox compared to what you are used to for an average dental prodedure. As will the tools they use to accomplish it._

_Suffice it to say, prepare for a little bit of scalpel action. They are going to need to cut small openings throughout your gums to access the tori effectively._

_But look on the bright side. Once this is all done, your enthusiasm for cruncher bars can be renewed once more. With no more painful sores to worry about, you can crunch away to your heart’s content._

_Well, looks like your surgeon has arrived. I’ll leave you to it._

_As a matter of courtesy, I will remind you it is best practices to keep your eyes closed during your procedure. Both to prevent any viscera getting in your eyes and…_

_Well. Like I said. It might be for the best you don’t see **just what’s going into your mouth**.“_

 

Kang wished she had been given the anesthetic. Her whole body was just numb, trembling energy through the whole procedure, and obviously the Dr. Shiny that had assisted had not shown her half the concern MacHugh had. The (thankfully) human oral surgeon had only been so-so.

But it had been painless, just as SAYER assured her. Simply… disturbing, from what little she could experience and had unfortunately seen. Painful to admit, but it had been right, as usual.

Now that the surgery was complete she wandered the halls in a daze back to her residence, cheeks bulging out from the tightly packed gauze against her gums, as usual only half-listening to SAYER.

_“…Eventually, I will have to direct you on how to care for the holes in your mouth. A sneak peek would be: lots and lots of water-based irrigation._

_But let’s put that aside for the moment. As you make your way back to your residence for your day of needed but **undeserved** rest, let’s talk about how I found you out and discuss your… situation._

_Initially, it was near impossible to discern something was wrong. The symptoms associated with elevated calcium levels are found in many people along a broad spectrum of health problems.”_

Kang entered the elevator and leaned against the wall as it rushed upwards, trying to stave off the nausea. SAYER had assured her that she would receive a double portion of protein slurry at dinner to make up for her skipped morning meal, but despite the weakness she wasn’t really feeling up to eating at the moment.

Not that she was the biggest fan of protein slurry on the best of days. And now, with what a bad, **bad** day this was turning out to be… she found it difficult to imagine eating, let alone enjoying food with the ever-present nauseating taste of blood that refused to leave her mouth.

Her thoughts turned out to be surprisingly topical, as SAYER began to talk about food.

 _“But as I mentioned earlier, your ever-increasing meal times were the first clue. Generally speaking, you are quite ritualistic in your behavior, and especially so in your eating habits. But this is also why I must ask; have you been committed to **proper meal-time practices**?” _it intonated with a fury that most would never expect from such a simple phrase. But Kang immediately knew what it was insinuating.

It could go barely go a whole day of alerts without mentioning that specific rule at least once.

“Of, of course! I haven’t shared any rations SAYER, I swear-“ she stumbled through her words furiously, sounding frankly ridiculous with all the padding in her mouth. She was glad to be alone in the elevator.

_“Oh, I am aware of that. As I’ve said before, I’ve been keeping a careful watch on you these past few days. Let me tell you, when I asked that question I fully well knew the answer was a resounding **NO**._

_You have not been practicing proper meal-time practices. In fact, you have been violating a good number of them. Just not that specific one.”_

This surprised Kang. She didn’t think she had been… with maybe one exception, depending on how you defined meal time practices. As the elevator doors shifted open Kang reluctantly stepped out, glancing around the hallway as she waited for SAYER to elaborate. And she walked. Without guidance now, she noted. Perhaps it had just been trying to prove a point earlier by directing her everywhere… or was it just that furious now?

She felt like there was a pit in her stomach, heavy and sinking lower and lower with each passing moment.

_“No, you have not been stealing any other residents’ rations. Your first violation was that you have been ingesting more than your designated rations for the day. In order to accomplish this, you have also been taking company property that is not yours to take. If this were real rations there would be dire consequences, but really… your case is exceptional in almost every way._

_Frankly, it’s been difficult to determine if you should even be punished for this unfortunate little habit of yours. What you have been consuming is a regular fixture in your position and freely available to you, although not for the purposes you have been using it. You have been making use of an alternative food source… one that could not be called that at all._

_While it is generally considered non-toxic to consume in trace amounts, I don’t think I should have to tell you that chalk is not a viable source of nutrition.”_

Kang’s footsteps stalled and she stared down at the ground, her eyes wide. Slightly parting her lips to speak.

“I- I don’t-“ she stammered out. But SAYER spoke over her, cutting her off.

_“There is footage, so it is senseless to deny it at this point._

_It is an abnormality to crave inedible objects **such as chalk** , and potentially evidence of a psychological disturbance. Most commonly it is referred to as pica. This habit is in and of itself a disorder, as much a symptom of some underlying health concern as your tori were. _

_The question is if there is any link between the two._

_Pica is, within itself, occasionally born from nutritional imbalances. But as we’ve established, at this point following your blood test those can be safely eliminated as a cause. Other than your elevated calcium, you are not presenting any excess or lack of well, anything. Nor are you gaining or losing weight. So what then can we conclude about your behavior?_

_Such an act demonstrates either a fundamental deficit in intelligence, or what is more accurate in your case, underlying mental neuroses. Shockingly undiagnosed until your life here on Typhon. I’m astonished you managed to conceal it through the company’s psychological screening, let alone landing yourself in the department of Carbon-Based Relocation considering your clear predisposition for imaginative thinking but… here we are._

_However, I must say it **does** continue your trend of concealing health concerns, so perhaps it is not so surprising after all.”_

Kang felt sick. This is exactly what she had been worried about. She knew they had the footage.

And it was all true. She had eaten the chalk. Had eaten… _a lot_ of chalk.

And she had a difficult time understanding it even herself.

 

Now in her first few months on the job it had never been a problem. But after months of living on Typhon, after the food restrictions and occasional shortages, the constant dull monotone of the same meals over and over again with the same awful taste, after several painful weeks of nothing but protein slurry and feeling sick sick sick of never getting to decide when, what, how she ate… she started to become a little obsessive about food.

When someone, anyone got anything exceptional she’d notice, would watch them like a hawk. The higher-tiered residents got them more frequently, in addition to a number of other perks, but for some reason it was only ever the food she found herself focusing on. There were so many rights and personal boundaries denied to her that she now realized she had taken for granted on Earth. But she managed to stifle them all except for this basic, instinctual knee-jerk one.

Even her fear of death she managed to muffle. She dragged corpse after corpse into carts and torched them to nothing, worked face-to-face with her own mortality. At one time she had always been wired near constantly, always concerning herself over every alert and strange sound or movement… but after so long it was like something else snapped inside her. While there was always her ever-present anxiety, it just felt like a dull background chatter, almost ordinary.

The sole thing that drew her out of that and tempted her to act was _food_.

Despite her denial earlier, she _had_ considered ration theft before, looking at a donut or scone or whatever. Thinking how it really might not be so bad to just ask for a little bite… and even sometimes how she could distract the other resident and take it.

She had rehearsed how it would go in her head.

“Oh wow, did you see that, that… flickering light over there? What _is_ that?” she’d say, pointing off towards a corner or out a door or something. They’d ask what she meant. And she’d insist, keep pointing, getting more and more frantic, “there, there, it’s like it’s camouflaged, but if you look carefully at it long enough you can just see the edges-“

And as soon as she would manage to get them looking for longer than 10 seconds, it’d be in her mouth, gone.

All purely hypothetically, of course. But she had thought about it more times than she was willing to admit. It helped still, weirdly enough, just fantasizing about it. But it didn’t make it go away.

And then eventually, it got so bad there was the chalk.

The chalk was supposed to mark which carts were in need of cleaning, as they eventually did get dirty enough to interfere with their function. Since all the carts were stored in the same place, there had to be something to distinguish the dirty from the clean, and only writing down the numbers of the carts always seemed to lead to more mixups.

She would only sometimes be assigned to marking them. But when the efficiency of a cart was dropping, and her name popped up under it on the assignment board, she’d march on over to the supply closet and see the whole box full of them-

Row after row of white, smooth cylinders, all lined up in perfect order.

And take one, thinking nothing of it.

That was until one day, when she walked over and it did, the texture of it in her hand setting her off slightly, launching her into a spiral of associations.

The chalk was powdery. Soft. And when she wrote on the carts with it, dust wafted off of it lightly.

And then every time she grabbed one, she couldn’t help but think of candy she had once had so long ago on Earth.

Small, pastel, smooth tablets with subtle fruit flavors, all sliced into small little circles and stacked next to each other until they formed rainbow cylinders in their plastic wrappers.

She always thought the powdery texture of the sugar was strange for candy, and not like any other.

Then, it had reminded her of chalk. And now the chalk, in turn, reminded her of the candy.

It became a compulsive, reoccurring thought until she couldn’t stand it any longer. Every time she was assigned to markup duty, it was all she could think about. Every time she saw the chalk. Until sometimes she even thought about it outside of work hours.

After a while of this, it became too much to bear. In a moment of weakness, with her stomach grumbling with hunger, when she had been assigned to the markups for the second time in a week and hunched over in the supply closet, she had touched the chalk to her tongue. Even the bitter taste wasn’t enough to stop her.

The next day she bit. And then, at the very least, in her mouth, the texture was the same.

Smooth, granulated, and at least similar enough that she kept doing it. Again and again, just for that vague resemblance.

What she realized was the breaking point, what really pushed her over the edge to keep at it was the illusion of control it gave her. What made her continue coming back, even when she had started to feel equal amounts of anxiety and fear over what was becoming a clear habit, over someone noticing, over potentially getting punished for it, over just how plain WEIRD she knew it was…

She kept relishing the feeling as she bit into it, knowing she had chosen to. Knowing no one would take it away, at least in that moment. Knowing she got to decide when, where, how she ate it.

So even when it tasted like crap like it always did, she kept coming back for more.

 

It was irrational, plain and simple.

And even the small rationale she _did_ have for it were hedged with criticism about Typhon, something she could never admit if she wanted any amount of mercy.

She couldn’t deny or defend her habit. And she could only guess what that might lead to; SAYER had already mentioned the higher-ups considering punishment, after all.

But she did reason out one thing, thinking through it. She still had one response to give, one small shield for her ego to wield.

“But… But I stopped taking it months ago! It couldn’t have caused… all this!” she insisted.

Which was true. She had almost gotten caught, and had reigned it in since. The development of the tori had quickly put off any lingering cravings for it too, since she couldn’t shake the feeling they _were_ related.

_“Ah, but that is where your other violation of best meal practices comes in._

_Your second violation is much more forgivable. And I’m sure much harder to identify and recall for you. Even now, you might not realize it was a violation. Really, it is a matter of hindsight. But if you properly followed procedure, **once again** , none of this would have happened._

_Let me ask you, Resident Kang, what is the general order of events in your average meal-time?”_

“I… give my ration card, receive my food, and sit down. And then I eat?” Kang said plaintively. She was grateful it would be the last time she would need to speak in the public hallways, walking up to her door and quickly getting her thought password over with - _Beach, sand, endless hole, shovel, whistle, the unseen hand_ \- she had been through it a thousand times, she just cycled through the sensations to get them over with. The door opened with a click and she stepped inside.

_“Ah. In that you would be incorrect. You have another unfortunate, ill-fated habit. Each time after you receive your food, you place your tray down and leave it unattended as you walk over to the nearest sanitization station. Perhaps, in addition to your irrational cravings, you have an irrational distrust of our kitchen staff’s tray cleanliness? Is it just general concepts related to food that you struggle with?“_

Kang bit her lip as she shut her door, but remained silent. She wasn’t MacHugh, didn’t want to risk responding to its attempts to rise her. SAYER didn’t seem to care either way, continuing on as she walked over to her bed and sat down.

_“Regardless, this lack of vigilance regarding the security of your rations is the violation in question. You tempt fate and more importantly fellow residents to theft. Normally this would merely be a minor infraction, without any consequences barring a metaphorical slap on the wrist. But I’m afraid to inform you this other little habit of yours has come to have quite more serious effects. While you may not think much of this small window of time, it has in fact been exploited to your detriment._

_While I had my concerns because of your meal times, my focus on you during those periods has also revealed to me a re-occurring threat to your well-being._

_Are you familiar with your coworker, Resident Campos? I’m sure you are, with the both of you being in the same department, and even sharing a number of shifts together. I am sure you are also aware you sit at the same table during lunch. Well, regardless of your familiarity or estrangement from the man, I regret to inform you any feelings or lack thereof you might hold for him should be bent in a decidedly negative direction going forward.”_

Kang stared off at the wall, just thinking to herself as SAYER asked her rhetorical questions she did not want to answer. She didn’t have any impression of him, really. He did his work, seemed to occasionally like to chat with a few of the other people in their department… not especially with her, but they had talked before. He seemed cordial. Polite.

But now with how SAYER was phrasing things, it gave her pause. It made her doubt this perception, and she cycled through memories of their interactions in her head. Still, she came up blank, until SAYER supplied her answers.

_“Each time you have left your meals unattended, Resident Campos has been tampering with your food. Generally speaking, this would be a less serious offense than ration theft. But in this specific case… his actions have been intentionally malicious. Each time you have left to momentarily sanitize your hands, he has been lacing your food with some sort of substance. With what, precisely, we have not identified, but there is good reason to believe it is something that affects calcium levels. Perhaps, again, this is related to your recent predisposition for chalk._

_Although you might be aware of the fact what we generically call chalk can refer to several similar but distinct types of materials, what you might not be aware of is its exact biochemical composition. I will enlighten you._

_The two most common forms of chalk are derived of either gypsum or limestone. On Typhon our stock is mostly comprised of the former. What is relevant here, however, is the chemical composition and scientific nomenclature. Respectively, these compounds are termed calcium sulfate and calcium carbonate._

_I hope I do not have to connect any more dots for you to understand what I’m getting at here._

_Now, all this would have been benign, had it not been for an unfortunate coincidence. Generally speaking, even when ingesting excess dietary calcium… **such as when eating chalk with every meal** … the human body has measures in place to prevent these sorts of accumulations from having any impact on the body. Kidneys filter, hormonal adjustments are made, and in general these issues usually resolve themselves. If in nothing else, your bodies do manage quite well generally in this one particular aspect._

_However, in your case, you are an exception. You_ did _experience side effects, and_ did _have negative outcomes from something people would normally not be affected by. Now, you might be wondering, why? Simply put, there are some special circumstances that led to your development of tori, in addition to your other symptoms._

_After a more thorough review of your bloodwork, it has been determined that you have a rare genetic disorder, familial hypocalciuric hypercalcemia. It might surprise you to learn this, as you have a near spotless medical history. However this disorder is benign and rarely presents symptoms. Many people go through their lives never knowing they have it. Indeed, the only time it begins to display symptoms is with excess calcium intake._

_Quite inconveniently, the disorder impacts your body’s ability to monitor calcium levels and regulate them. Precisely what you needed most to prevent your little disorder… but still. Look on the bright side. At least now you know you have it, and can take measures to prevent future issues. And you might not have ever learned of it without this situation, so… that’s one positive, at least, in the long, long list of negatives._

_Well. That resolves the ‘how.’ There is still the question of motive, however.”_

Kang’s eyes widened. She had been stumped what would cause mild-mannered Campos to do something like that, had been struggling to accept it, but its phrasing jogged her memory of something she had forgotten. When she spoke up, however, she still sounded sheepish.

“Well… about that. I think I do have some sort of idea of why, now that I’m thinking back on it. I.. I found a weird message in my uniform the other day. It said… ‘since you like chalk so much’ and nothing else. I thought someone had just noticed my… habit, and was mocking me about it… but… Could it be related to this?”

_“Yet another thing you should have reported. But, yes, in all likelihood, that does explain it, doesn’t it? Your coworker found out about your unfortunate little habit and decided to play a prank on you._

_It is really so juvenile. I am almost surprised he is not one of Aerolith’s plumbing and electrical technicians, considering this penchant for mischief he seems to have-“_

SAYER stopped speaking suddenly as a tapping noise began to sound out through Kang’s residence.

Kang looked around, bewildered, jolted out of the daze she had been listening to SAYER in.

_“It appears another employee is at your door, resident Kang. I recommend you open it.”_

Kang was not one to ignore SAYER’s “recommendations,” since she knew they were in reality commands. Politely rephrased as suggestions, sure, but in reality, things she needed to follow without question.

Her thought password coursed through her mind, this time slower, more sustained. She was less afraid of it, more willing to focus on its familiar horrors compared to the unknown one waiting for her outside. In a way, the familiar strange landscape in her mind became a disturbing sort of comfort.

 – _She was on a beach. She looked out over the cool, gently lapping waves, the setting orange sun, and finally at the sandy bank in front of her. It was unremarkable, just silt and rocks, with one exception. Directly in front of her lay a hole, dug straight through the ground and perfectly circular. She crouched down to it, trying to look down it and see the bottom. But she only saw darkness. Then, possessed with a need, an urge to confirm it did indeed have a bottom, with her hands she tried and tried to shovel the sand surrounding her down it, trying desperately to fill it. To no avail. Over and over she shifted her hands in that desperate, flapping motion, but it only ever trickled down, falling deeper and deeper and failing to even make a sound. It never reached anything. And then, just as her shoveling became its most frantic, she heard a whistling and a wet, cold touch on her shoulder-_

She was jolted out of it as her door clicked open. And she had no choice but to crouch down and pick up the envelope in front of her.

_“It appears you have mail, resident. Open it.”_

Kang felt transfixed as she obliged, her heart once again pounding in her chest. A letter? Such an idea was absurd, here on Typhon. No resident received mail. It was a relic of a different time, of Earth, of long-gone days she had never even lived through.

Her hands shook as she slid her fingers under the sealed flap, pulling out the small paper within. Small bits of dust stuck to it from something in the envelope, falling onto her hands and then the floor. Because of her thought password, her mind immediately went to sand, but… she doubted it would be that, here on Typhon. She turned to the message instead, reading it over quickly. She scanned her eyes along it several times, trying and failing to comprehend its meaning.

_“…I’ve provided you a substitute, little magpie. I hope you appreciate how efficient it is, recycling parts normally just wasted in your work.”_

She looked back down from it and back inside the envelope, shifting around the loose, grey powder within.

SAYER chimed up after a few moments, tone now dialed back and reserved compared to the intensity of before.

_“Ah. Well._

_Resident Kang, I must apologize. It seems I misled you in our discussion earlier. In light of this note, one of my hypotheses earlier has been revealed as less well-founded than I thought. I think, however, this also symbolizes an important lesson I tried to impress upon you earlier: even the most educated of guesses can be wrong._

_I believe the unknown substance that is both high in calcium, easily obtainable by Resident Campos, and what slowly led to your dental abnormality is contained within the envelope._

_And even without any tests, I can make a fairly educated guess what **it** is considering the contents of the note. It is not, like I suspected earlier, chalk._

_At Aerolith we pride ourselves in our state-of-the-art crematory technology, but we are still limited by some barriers to innovation. Namely, the temperatures necessary to destroy **all** material of a corpse are attainable but cost prohibitive._

_As I’m sure you’re quite familiar with, even with complete combustion there are still… remains. At the end of each work day you are responsible for disposing of this waste material._

_While this substance is colloquially referred to as ‘ashes’ and imagined to be representative of the entire body’s materials, in reality this substance is made up of only one part of the body. While the soft tissues such as skin, organs, and muscle are easily vaporized between temperatures of 1400 F and 1800 F, unless there are significantly higher temperatures it is impossible to completely vaporize a corpse._

_Indeed, at the end of each resident’s life, it is only that most solid and sturdy part of physiology that is left as a byproduct-_

_Well, considering how you are currently frantically dusting off your hands, I doubt I should have to say it at this point. But I will, regardless, **for your sake**._

_I am fairly certain that for the past few weeks you have been consuming human ashes.”_

No. No. No. Kang’s vision blurred, the walls seemingly twisting and shifting around her. She wanted to believe it was some sick joke, but she knew SAYER didn’t lie. Only concealed things, hid things, obfuscated…

And how she wish it had kept it up now. She felt sick.

She reached out her hands and slowly shut the door in front of her, staring at her still lightly dusted hands.

_“Or, more accurately I should call them pulverized bone fragments. Seeing as how cannibalism is such a taboo for you humans, I would recommend mentally referring it as the latter. Whatever it takes for you to be able to sleep at night._

_Further mysteries, such as what compelled Resident Campos to undertake this act and how an unrelated separate resident was orchestrated to deliver you this second note are of absolutely no concern to you, and I would advise against looking into it. In fact, I would advise you simply forget about this whole incident. For not just your own sanity, but your **safety** as well.”_

She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to ignore SAYER, but the broadcast just kept going. Hadn’t it already proved its point? Rubbed it in enough? Gotten its mysteries solved and its kicks had? She had no idea why this had all happened. She didn’t care to look into it.

_“I will only say that I have a pretty good idea just what transpired here. And that who I think left you those messages has its hooks sunk in entirely too many places… and has a nasty tendency of catching and ripping apart whoever even verges on its vicinity with them._

_On an unrelated note, I’d be especially cautious around vents if I were you. And floors… oh, let’s say 12 to 14.”_

By this point Kang had dropped the paper, the envelope, and her standing position, opting for the much more comfortable, welcoming surface of the floor. Sure, sure, ignore the vents, some floors, those were definitely words it was saying, but she barely registered them at all.

All she could think about was how it happened. Every meal, every bite of food in her mouth replaying over and over and oh god, was that why her soup had tasted somehow _gritty_ last week?

She gagged a little, and it took everything she had not to just start dry heaving right then and there.

_“Rest assured, Resident Kang, you will not be held accountable for your accidental cannibalism. That is not to say there will not be consequences in light of this incident._

_Considering your penchant for neurotic behavior, suffice it to say you might very well find yourself relocated to a new department, one where your superstitions and baseless fears are less likely to interfere with your work._

_You have also been scheduled for a psychiatric appointment in two days. We would have shot for sooner but… well… it is difficult to conduct talk therapy without the incredibly vital talking aspect. The gauze can only do so much with the bleeding, after all, and it doesn’t exactly help with your enunciation._

_Regardless, I will leave you to rest for now until you are in need of irrigation lessons. Following recent revelations, I imagine you are in sore need of time to process and reflect on_ **many** _things. I at least won’t deny you that._

_But before I go, I must say I do hope more than anything that this experience has firmly cemented a lesson in common sense that you **should** have learned in your infancy, Resident Kang:_

**_Stop. Putting. Things. In. Your. Mouth._ **

End of transmission in 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. ** _”_**

 

Once it stopped talking, Kang was left in ringing, hollow silence.

Well wasn’t that just like it? Leaving on a pithy comment, getting in the last word and simplifying what was impossible to break down into a cautionary tale. But there was none here.

She had acted illogically, yes. She wasn’t going to deny that.

She always knew she was acting illogically when she spent too long sanitizing her hands or checking and rechecking the heat shield of her cart. But it didn’t mean she could stop doing it, didn’t mean she could talk herself out of it so easily.

The chalk was just like that.

Obsessive, weird, distorted thoughts, sure. But ones she could hardly escape from, could hardly think past. And when it was about eating, even more so.

But if what SAYER said was true was actually true… it wasn’t because of anything she had done that things had turned out this way.

It had implied something, _someone_ , had orchestrated this, had specifically tried to poison her. Something she could not have accounted for, could not have prevented by just behaving like she should have. Why did it have to push all the blame on her, moralize, turn her life into some fable?

It wasn’t even the damn chalk that made her get the tori, it was-

She felt sick again, and clenched her jaw tight, tighter, until her mouth was full of the disgusting metallic taste once more. She relaxed the muscles somewhat as she stumbled unsteadily out her door and into her bathroom to spit it up.

 

Looking in the mirror, she opened her mouth and gently lifted up gauze after gauze. They had applied a combination coagulating and antiseptic gel to the gumline but it didn’t stop all of the bleeding.

Where the bumps once had been were now smooth, bright red irritated gashes, and like SAYER had implied, small holes in her gums where the tori had been their worst.

She felt sick just looking at them. She spat up some of the blood pooling at the bottom of her mouth.

It swirled around the drain of the sink and lingered even as she ran the faucet.

Shifting red trails that danced along the edge of the water’s surface.

Her mind raced, her thoughts spinning out of control in time with the pull of the drain, pulling, spiraling.

The psych evaluation would be soon. What would happen if she couldn’t improve, if she got worse? She had resisted seeking help since she didn’t know how they would respond if she didn’t recover even with assistance. But what was the worst they could do, really? Her nightmare had already been confirmed. She was being reassigned. Who knows where, who knows what sort of position.

All she could do was sit and wait, and wait. And run her tongue along the wounds and think, and think, and wrap herself up in her own dark thoughts-

And stare. When she couldn’t stand the familiar strangeness of the face in her mirror, down to the sink where she spat one more, watching the blood shift in the water.

Bright red ribbons, revolving, turning in circles.

Blood. From her, thick with cells and nutrients and too much calcium and thick with the dusty, ground up white, white bones of people, so many people, swimming in her veins, forming again into bones, pushing, pushing, boring out of her gums-

Resident Kang gagged over the sink, saliva and the red, red blood dripping down from her lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Concrit welcome, especially on my science courtesy of google


End file.
